How Divorce And Adultery Are Connected: What You Need To Know

November 24, 2025

How Divorce And Adultery Are Connected

When most people think of divorce, they often think about adultery being a key factor that leads to the end of a marriage. In reality, while adultery was once a significant part of the divorce process, its role has changed dramatically in the United States. Over the years, divorce laws have evolved to reduce blame and conflict between spouses, with the introduction of no-fault divorce marking a major shift. While adultery may still impact certain aspects of divorce, it is no longer the focal point it once was. Here’s what you need to know about how divorce and adultery are connected in today’s legal landscape.

The Rise of No-Fault Divorce

Before no-fault divorce laws were introduced in the United States, proving adultery was often necessary for a spouse seeking to end a marriage. Adultery was a legally acceptable reason for divorce, and one spouse would need to prove that the other had been unfaithful. This often led to contentious and bitter divorce proceedings.

However, with the rise of no-fault divorce laws in the 1970s and the formalization of these laws in all 50 states by the early 1980s, the requirement to prove adultery or any other fault was eliminated. Now, a person seeking a divorce only needs to state that the marriage has “irretrievably broken down” or cite “irreconcilable differences.” This change was made to reduce conflict and create a more straightforward, less emotionally charged divorce process. Today, in most cases, adultery is no longer a requirement to file for divorce.

What Is Adultery in the Context of Divorce?

Adultery is typically understood as a married individual having sexual relations with someone other than their spouse. In most states, however, it is treated more as a matter of broken marital trust than as a strict legal ground for divorce. In the past, if one spouse was unfaithful, the other could use adultery as a legal ground for filing for divorce.

The key distinction here is that adultery is no longer a mandatory reason to file for divorce in most states. As previously mentioned, no-fault divorce laws allow anyone who wishes to end their marriage to do so without proving adultery or fault.

Adultery and Divorce: How Does It Affect the Process?

In most cases today, adultery does not impact the divorce process itself. The divorce proceedings are no longer contingent on proving infidelity. That said, there are still situations where adultery can affect the outcome, but these situations are generally more limited and relate to specific aspects of the divorce, such as financial settlements or child custody arrangements.

Does Adultery Affect Financial Settlements in Divorce?

In terms of financial settlements, the impact of adultery on the division of marital assets is minimal. Divorce settlements are based on a variety of factors, including the length of the marriage, the earning capacity of both parties, and the contributions each spouse has made to the marriage.

In rare cases, adultery can influence the financial outcome if it has led to the wasting of marital assets. For example, if one spouse spent large sums of money on an extramarital affair or hid assets during the divorce proceedings, this could be considered when determining how assets should be divided. However, such cases are relatively rare, and in most instances, adultery does not directly affect the financial outcome.

Adultery and Child Custody: Does It Make a Difference?

When it comes to child custody, adultery is not typically a factor in determining where children will live. Courts primarily focus on the best interests of the child, looking at the ability of each parent to provide for the child’s needs. However, if the adultery has led to behavior that directly affects the child, such as exposing the child to harmful situations or engaging in reckless behavior that puts the child at risk, the court may consider this when making custody decisions.

In most cases, the courts do not penalize one parent for having an affair unless it is shown that the affair negatively impacts the welfare of the child. Courts are far more likely to consider other factors, such as the stability of the home environment, the parents’ emotional and financial capabilities, and the child’s relationship with each parent.

What If You Committed Adultery? How Does It Affect Your Divorce?

If you are the one who committed adultery, you might be concerned about how this will affect your divorce. The good news is that in most cases, the reason for the breakdown of the marriage does not have any impact on divorce proceedings. In other words, even if you had an affair, it will not automatically hurt your chances in court or lead to a more punitive financial settlement.

It’s also important to note that your actions won’t typically affect your ability to seek custody of your children unless your behavior has put them in harm’s way. Even in cases where the other spouse is angry or hurt by the infidelity, the court will typically still strive to make decisions based on the child’s best interests and the overall stability of the home environment.

How Does Adultery Affect Divorce Proceedings in the United States?

While adultery no longer plays a central role in divorce cases, there are still some areas where it can have an effect. For example, in some states, adultery may still be considered when determining alimony or spousal support, particularly if one spouse’s infidelity led to significant financial consequences for the other.

However, even in these cases, adultery is not the driving factor in most divorce decisions. Instead, courts focus on the financial needs of each spouse, the length of the marriage, and other factors that might influence the financial support of one party after the divorce.

If you’re facing a divorce and are unsure of how adultery may impact your case, it is a good idea to consult with an experienced divorce attorney. Divorce attorneys can help you navigate your specific situation and offer advice on how to approach issues related to adultery, financial settlements, or child custody.

Can You Use Adultery as a Ground for Divorce in the U.S.?

In most states, you no longer need to prove adultery or any other fault to get a divorce. This is where the concept of “no-fault divorce” comes in. You can simply file for divorce by stating that the marriage has irretrievably broken down, and no evidence of infidelity, abuse, or misconduct is necessary.

In states that still allow fault-based divorce, adultery may still be a ground for divorce. However, even in these states, adultery is rarely the sole deciding factor in divorce outcomes. Most courts are focused on ensuring a fair division of assets and addressing any child custody issues in a way that benefits the children involved.

What If My Spouse Had an Affair? What Are My Rights?

If your spouse has had an affair, you may be wondering how it impacts your rights in the divorce. In terms of asset division and custody arrangements, the affair will likely have little effect unless there are other extreme factors at play, such as reckless financial behavior or harm to your children.

The best course of action is to consult with a family law attorney who can help you understand how divorce laws apply in your state and how to protect your rights throughout the divorce process. A knowledgeable lawyer will help you navigate the complexities of divorce, whether it involves adultery or other factors.

Why You Should Consult a Family Law Attorney

If you are considering divorce or are currently in the process of divorce, it’s important to seek guidance from experienced New Jersey family law attorneys. At Choi Law Firm, we offer personalized legal support, ensuring your rights and interests are protected. Our team provides expert guidance through every aspect of divorce, including issues related to adultery, asset division, and child custody.

We understand that divorce is a difficult and emotional process, which is why we take a compassionate and client-focused approach. Our goal is to help you navigate the process smoothly and achieve a fair resolution that meets your needs.

“ I always felt that they were genuinely fighting for me; truly looking out for my best interests."

I am very grateful for Sandra Choi and her team. They were kind, compassionate, thorough and very professional throughout the entire process of my case. I always felt that they were listening to my concerns and interests and provided all the professional advice and answers to my questions that I needed to feel confident about my decisions.

“ One of the best things about Ms. Choi is that she is caring and listens carefully to understand your situation."

Sandra Choi is attentive, kind, thoughtful, and professional. She was thorough and well-prepared throughout my case, and I was impressed by her honesty and work ethic. Ms. Choi and her team were helpful and responsive to my questions and concerns, and she certainly exceeded my expectations. I highly recommend Ms. Choi and her team.

Why Hire Choi Law Firm

We Are Skilled Counselors Demonstrating a Passion for Resolving Difficult Legal Problems

We Provide a Caring Environment So You Can Rest Assured Knowing Your Case is in Good Hands

We Develop Tailored Strategies and Solutions to Secure a Favorable Outcome in Every Client's Case

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We Understand the Value of Prompt Legal Action to Resolve Your Situation as Efficiently as Possible

Sandra Choi
Founder of the Choi Law Firm, has been named a Bergen County Top Lawyer for 2024 by Bergen Magazine, a testament to her 20+ years of putting clients first with exceptional legal care and trustworthiness.
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